The Evolution Man by Roy Lewis

Author:Roy Lewis [Lewis, Roy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Comedy
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

10

I suppose we could have rushed Father if we had wanted. But he would certainly have got one of us, and probably two, before we got him. So, snarling and cursing, we backed away, while he shook his mighty spear at us. Then, out of range, we turned and slunk off southwards.

After we had gone some miles, however, Oswald called us to a halt. He was now our accepted leader.

‘Listen, brothers,’ he said, ‘it’s no use blundering along any old how. We’ve got to talk, to make a plan of attack. Blast the old man! We’ve got to go through with it. As I smell ‘em, these people don’t live more than fifteen or twenty miles from where we are now. We don’t know what they’re like, or what they’re up to. We might run into a hunting-party, and they might mistake us for a party of baboons and give us the works.’

‘Surely not! ‘protested Wilbur.

‘Depends on which of us they saw first,’ growled his brother.

‘No sense in taking risks.’

‘If they’re anything like us, they spear first and ask questions afterwards,’ I said. ‘You are right, brother. We must approach them with every care. What do you suggest?’

‘We must arm ourselves, that is the first step,’ said Oswald incisively. ‘The old man’s got our spears. Wilbur, that’s your job. Find some flints and make axes and scrapers, so that we can sharpen spears. We’ll look round for some likely timber for spears and clubs.’

‘But why must we make spears and clubs?’ asked Alexander. ‘Why shouldn’t we just go to them and explain why we’re here? We’re courting, not hunting.’

‘It’s the same thing,’ said Oswald.

‘Of course it is,’ I said. ‘We must get as near as we can unseen, and look the horde over. There are only four of us, and there may be forty of them. Our job is to track them, and then to cut off stragglers if they’re on the move; or pounce on them at night, and each carry off a girl, like hyenas.’

Oswald nodded. ‘I agree with Ernest. You don’t suppose they want to lose their women, do you? They have not got this crazy idea that they can’t mate among themselves. They won’t like what we’re going to do to them one bit.’

Alexander grumbled, ‘Well, I think it’s a very crude way of gaining a girl’s affections,’ but he put his shoulders as usual behind our preparations. As these were going forward, however, he suddenly said: ‘I say, you fellows, have you considered if - well, if the girls will like us?’

‘They’ll like us all right,’ said Oswald grimly, as he trimmed the knob of a three-foot shillelagh.

At last we were fully equipped and could begin to go forward again. We advanced cautiously against the wind, so that we might not easily be scented, and we did not close in until night fell. Then we found a spot to encamp. At dawn we moved up under cover of the mist and ensconced ourselves on a

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